


Pokin' in the Boys' Room

by NancyBrown



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Comment Fic, F/M, Genderfuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-04
Updated: 2010-07-04
Packaged: 2017-10-10 09:37:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/98225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NancyBrown/pseuds/NancyBrown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack forgot how much fun it was to have tits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pokin' in the Boys' Room

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: none  
> Touchyerwood prompt: Jack/Ianto, genderfuck: female!Jack, possible maid outfit  
> A/N: Added bonus side orders of bathroom sex and sorta fail!sex. I don't know what I was thinking with this one.

Jack had forgotten how much fun it was to have tits. He slipped his hand up under his shirt whenever he got the chance, and every hour or so, he ducked off to the loo to give the rest of his new parts a squeeze.

"This means I get to go into the Ladies' now, right?" he'd said. Gwen and Tosh's matched expressions said no, that a mismatched Jack was still essentially Jack. He'd pouted, and then gone into the Gents' instead.

He was never going to get any work done today at this rate, he thought, heading into the stall again. Moments later, his trousers down at his ankles and hand rubbing desperately at his new clit, Jack ceased to care. He let out a moan that sounded nothing at all like his normal self.

There was a polite cough that could only be one person.

Jack said, "If this was a porno, you'd already be knocking on the door asking if I needed a hand."

The stall door swung open; it wasn't like Jack had bothered to lock it. "If this was a porno," Ianto said, manoeuvring inside, "you'd already be pretending to enjoy giving me a blowjob."

"I always enjoy giving you a blowjob."

"That's not the point."

The stall wasn't large, but that was fine. Jack could smell his own arousal, covering his fingers moistly. He locked eyes with Ianto and pushed his fingers into Ianto's mouth so he could taste. Ianto's eyes rolled back in pleasure.

Jack didn't ask how long it had been because he didn't want Ianto to dwell on Lisa just now. Struck with inspiration, he sat on the only available seat, and even as Ianto's face drew into a confused frown, Jack unbuttoned his shirt and began rubbing his breasts against Ianto's trousers.

He gave Ianto a dirty smile.

Ianto's hands flew to his zip and carefully pulled out his cock. Jack guided it between his tits as Ianto started to thrust.

The sensation wasn't unpleasant, and the sounds Ianto tried not to make were gratifying. Jack let one hand drift back between his own legs to slide back and forth across his sensitive nub. Much better.

Ianto tugged on his arms suddenly, distracting Jack from both pleasures. "I want you," he growled, but it was Ianto and he waited for Jack's nod before pulling him upright.

Ianto had a condom in his pocket, and paused in putting it on only long enough to drop his trousers and pants the rest of the way while Jack kicked his to the floor. Jack was wet, had been wet since about five minutes after the change this morning, once the disorientation wore off. He'd lost about two inches in height, which made their usual "fucking standing up" positions more difficult. Then Ianto lifted him up and, straining, brought him down again on his cock.

Sweet deity, the position was strange, and the sensations stranger as Jack wrapped his legs around Ianto's waist. Pain cracked in his head and down his back as they slammed -- too hard -- into the side of the stall.

"You okay?" Ianto asked, pensive and stilling.

"Fine, fine," Jack said breathlessly. "Don't. Fucking. Stop."

His senses were flooded with new information: the stretch of his internal walls, painful at first but shifting into a better position as they went; the short, sharp bumps of flesh grinding at his entrance, brushing his clit but not enough; the rough feel of Ianto's clothes against his arms. Jack tried to imagine this with costumes, a pirate and a French maid, or a superspy and a cat burglar. Warmth flooded him at the fantasy. Definitely bringing out the costumes next time.

"I'm not going to ... " Ianto gasped, and then he was coming, pounding away hard. Jack rode it, although the thrusts had gone back to being painful.

When he'd subsided, Ianto managed to pull out and set Jack down both without damaging himself badly, or at least Jack thought before Ianto fell to his knees.

"Did you--?"

Ianto's mouth was on his cunt then, licking and lapping despite what Jack knew was an unpleasant latex aftertaste over the better flavour of Woman. His tongue and fingers soothed and stroked and loved at Jack, and where his cock had frankly ached a bit, his lips were just perfect.

Jack sighed happily, then tensed as Ianto slid two fingers inside of him, but the fingers stroked a beautiful spot just up and inside as Ianto bit down gently on his clit and ...

The orgasm hit Jack hard, and he let a scream burble out as fingers and tongue relentlessly pushed him harder, giving him barely a moment before ravishing him again with the same strong stimuli. He slammed his head into the wall again and did not feel it until several minutes later.

"Enough," he said, as Ianto began working him towards a third one. All the bones in his body gone, he slid to the floor, which would have been disgusting in any bathroom not regularly maintained by the man in here with him. His eyes weren't focused quite right, but he could make out the smug look on Ianto's face, damp as it was with Jack's juices. (Jack hated that word. Home had lovely words for the various fluids of sex, and most of them were synonyms for "joy".)

The door to the loo banged open. Owen shouted, "Oi! Everything all right in here? I heard a scream."

"Nothing to worry about," said Jack. He sensed rather than saw Owen's dawning suspicion.

"Ianto?"

"'Lo, Owen."

Muttering disgustedly about idiots who didn't know what a bed was for, Owen slammed the door behind him as he exited. Their eyes met again, and they both laughed until they were sick.


End file.
